Discussion between lovers
by Kels85
Summary: This is set after episode 19. The talk between Callie and Arizona.


**AN/ I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters.**

**This is my first Callie and Arizona fanfic and like only my 2nd fanfic ever would love to hear what you think. Had a little trouble with the ending. I had like 4 possible different ways it could go. 2 of the endings would've made it a multi chapter story, and I don't have much time to write so didn't want to start something I couldn't finish, although I did love the ideas. I hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading, would love to hear your feedback, good or bad.  
**

Callie sat on the bed and looked at Arizona. This was the moment she's been waiting for over the last few days. This is where they get to talk. Callie took a deep breath and let it out. She was nervous, she knows that there is a chance this talk could end badly, but she also knows that talking about pound cake and lotion to avoid a topic isn't going to help their relationship.

Arizona slightly turns herself towards Callie more. Callie is transfixed by the view in front of her; she's starts at Arizona's blue eyes and slowly follows a path down her beautiful face, past her succulent lips, over her bare shoulders and down to the valley hidden behind her blue towel. Before Callie knew what she was doing she had covered the distance between her and Arizona, throwing herself and her lips upon Arizona. She kissed her with passion and want; she kissed her like it would be the last time.

Arizona willingly fell deep into the kiss, lips crushing together, the fire building up deep inside. She moved her hand to Callie's hip, wanting to pull her closer. She felt Callie place her hands on her shoulders. She let out a soft moan, loving the intensity of the moment.

Callie slowly pulled away, using her hands to softly push Arizona at arms distance. She gave her a small smile before apologizing. "I'm sorry. You, there, in just a towel, it makes a girl lose her self control." Callie positions herself next to Arizona; close enough, but far enough away to maintain her composure.

Arizona blushed a little before smiling at Callie and hoping up to put some clothes on. It made her feel good knowing that Callie still wanted her physically, knowing the chemistry was still there. She moved back over to the bed and sat back in the same position.

It didn't go unnoticed by Callie that Arizona chose to put street clothes instead of her pajamas. Callie had a feeling this wasn't going to go well, she sighed and then took a deep breath before starting. "I guess I'll go first?" Callie asked. Arizona just nodded in reply, not sure if she'd know what to say right now anyway.

Callie smiled and then started. "Arizona, I love you. You have brought so much to my life, more than I could ever dream of. More than I thought I'd ever get. Before I met you, I was broken. You know that. You picked up the pieces and put them back together" Callie looked at Arizona. "And when I say put me back together not just so that I was the old hard ass ortho surgeon again. No you put them back in a way that I didn't know they fit. I look at life differently, I'm still hard ass but with a smile, I enjoy life now because of you." Callie looked down at the bed for a second before looking up at Arizona with a sad look in her eye.

"Because of you, I now know what love is, what love feels like, what pure joy and happiness feels like. But this right now, it scares me. I want a baby; I want a baby with you Arizona and you don't. You've changed my life so much and now when I look into the future I see light, I see us with a big house and kids. Well at least I did till the other day. It's the missing piece, that'll complete me. "Callie said.

Callie could feel her eyes start to glace over with tears. She tried hard to blink them away. She'd just started and wanted to finish. Arizona could see the pain in her girlfriend's eyes, she took Callie's hand in hers slowly making sure this was okay with her. When Callie didn't pull away she gave it a gentle squeeze encouraging her to finish.

Callie looked at her hand within Arizona's and gave a small smile. This felt right to her; it was like the two hands were made to co-exist together. She ran her thumb across the back of Arizona's hand before continuing.

"I know why you don't want to have a baby. I get it. We see things everyday that scare us and hurt us emotionally, you out of everyone more so. I do get it. But you can't live your life out of fear Arizona. If you let fear control you, you could miss out on the most beautiful things in life." Callie said.

Arizona sat and listened patiently, she wanted to let her girl get everything out that she needed. She herself knew that what Callie was saying is true. But it's easier to know then to do; especially when you've seen tiny coffins and watched your parents bury their own son.

"If I let fear control me, I would never have come and found you after you kissed me in the bathroom. I was scared and nervous, I didn't want to get heartbroken again, but I knew I couldn't let fear control what could be." Callie smiled at the memory of that night. "We wouldn't be here if you didn't take that risk to following me into that bathroom or if I didn't take the risk to find you. People make decisions in life, but decisions can change if you want them to." Callie told Arizona. "If you're willing to risk not having kids on the basis that something could go wrong, why did you let yourself fall in love with me?" Callie asked.

Arizona was about to answer that question when Callie put her hand up. "Please let me finish while I can." Callie told her. "I just mean, fear is everywhere. We know more than anyone that things can happen to the people you love without, the slightest warning. They can leave work and get hit by a bus." A small tear dropped from Callie's eye with the mention of George. "If not wanting a kid is from fear. Then don't leave the house in the morning. I'm scared about the what-ifs just as much as you Arizona. I'm scared that something could happen to you and I'll never see you again, I'm scared that my heart could be broken again, but I won't let it stop me from loving you and living my life, I'd love to wrap you up in cotton wool and hold you captive here safe under my watch, but it's not possible."

Callie heard a soft snort come from Arizona at the comment about keeping her captive. "I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I let the unknown control whether I have a child. I didn't let it control me when I decided to allow myself to fall in love again, and I won't let it now." Callie Said sadly.

A small stream of tears had started to fall down her face. She looked into Arizona's eyes. "Please, before I break my own heart and yours. I ask you to consider having a baby. Not tomorrow, not next year, but at some point in our future. I know you probably made the decision years ago, but situations change, people change. I know that if you allow yourself to consider it, you'll see that together we can do it, and we can face everything together. We could make an amazing family Arizona."

Arizona had tear running down her face, it hurt her so much inside to hear Callie say break my own heart and yours. She knew what this meant. Arizona was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt a warm soft hand on her cheek; she automatically leaned into the touch closing her eyes. Callie's hand moved its way behind Arizona's head and carefully pulled Arizona towards her, kissing her lips softly. It wasn't like the earlier kiss. It was gentle and careful. Tears were now flowing freely from both girls; they could taste the saltiness on each other lips. Callie pulled back and rested her forehead against Arizona's.

"Let me, help you through your fear. Let me be your light. Let me be your future and please let you be mine. A broken heart will mend with time Arizona, but you are no longer just part of my heart, you are the other half of my soul. I don't want to lose you, I could say ok no kids, but I know deep down I'd regret it and resent you. I don't want that." Callie started to quietly sob. Arizona instinctively pulled Callie into her hugging her tightly. Callie buried her head into the nape of Arizona's neck. Both women clinging to each other while crying softly.

"Is it ok if I talk now?" Arizona asked Callie. She felt the small nod of Callie's head against her shoulder. She placed small kisses on the top of Callie's head before pulling Callie out to look into her eyes. "You're right, I am scared. And I am letting fear control my decisions. I know this, and I want to get past this, I've thought of kids with you Calliope. I've imagined how beautiful your little girl or boy would look. I have. But then I tell a parent that their little boy or girl isn't going to make it and I see them die inside. I see a part of them disappear in front of my eyes. I wouldn't want to put you through that. The pain it's unbearable, I've seen it with my parents when they had to bury my brother. "Arizona wiped her eyes.

"Arizona, we'd be there together. And you personally wouldn't be putting me through the pain. The pain I'm feeling, right now… its killing me inside, that I could lose you because of a small possibility." Arizona placed a finger on top of Callie's lips to stop her.

"You've had your turn to talk; now it's mine." Arizona said while wiping some of Callie's tears away. "Calliope, if there is one thing on this earth that I'm sure of its how I feel about you. You are my life, you are my future, you are my inspiration, I didn't think I could possibly love anyone the way I love you. And if there is one thing I have to make sure of is that I don't lose you because of my fears." Arizona placed both her hands on either side of Callie's cheeks.

"Calliope, right now, I can't promise you anything, as much as this scares me…" Arizona was interrupted by Callie's phone ringing. Callie sighed and grabbed it, looked at the caller ID to see that it was Mark and rolled her eyes before rejecting the call. "You don't need to get that?" Arizona asked.

Callie took Arizona's hand and placed soft kisses on it. "No, it was just Mark. I'm busy, and you were talking. Please conti…" This time they were interrupted by the text tone of Callie's phone. They both laughed before Callie threw the phone across the room. "Now if you would so kindly continue what you were saying." Callie asked.

Arizona, smiled at Callie and thought for a second about what she was about to say. "Right okay, I was just saying as much as it scares and pains me to say. Right now I'm not ready. I made my mind up over 10 years ago not to have kids. I can't just change my mind in a week. I'm not saying I won't change my mind, I'm just saying I need time to think." Arizona wiped her tears away from her face before placing a light kiss on Callie's lips and standing up. "I don't know what to do Callie." Arizona said while pacing the room.

"I don't want to lose you, I want to be able to give you the world Calliope, and I want to give you everything you want. But I'm scared, what if when you're ready, I'm not?" She looked at Callie with pleading eyes. "I'd hate myself if you stayed with me thinking there was hope and then I couldn't. I don't want to make promises I can't keep, but I don't want to lose you." Arizona looked at Callie from the other side of the room. "I just don't know what to do. I love you, and want to be with you more than I've wanted to be with anyone in my life before. But right now I'm not ready to make that 100 percent commitment to having kids. I need more time to think about it. I can't change my mind in one week. Can you give me time?" Arizona asked.

Callie got up and walked across to Arizona and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Of course I'll give you time." Callie said before kissing Arizona's forehead. "I won't wait forever, but this is a big decision. I understand that. I won't bring this up again, until you're ready to okay? But in saying that, you can't leave me waiting a year before telling me you don't want kids. I'll give you time, but if you know in your heart of hearts that you won't change your mind, let me know please. "Callie pleaded.

Arizona pulled Callie into a hug. "I promise I won't take long. I just need time." Arizona whispered into Callie's ear. Callie smiled, she knew this was a big decision and although she really wanted to know now she had to respect the fact that Arizona is at least thinking about it.

Callie pulled back from the hug and smiled at Arizona. "Thank you for at least thinking about it, I love you, Arizona." Callie said "I love you too, Calliope" Arizona replied before Callie captured her lips in another passionate kiss, this one full of want and need. Callie's arms closed tighter around Arizona and pulled her body closer to hers as she slowly walked them back toward the bed. She wanted an evening of love making, to remind them why they were together.


End file.
